But Mama
by JosiahGirl
Summary: plot what plot: David has a run in with his mother. An attempt at some humor. Please RR


Running from Mother  
Josiahgirl  
Author's notes: Fluff, PWP, This is just something that came to mind as I was sitting at work battling a headache. I thought it would be fun to torture David just for a little while. He always struck me as a Mama's boy, so I was wondering what would be his biggest fear? This is a really sad attempt at humor, but heck I tried.  
Rated: G   
  
David Jacobs stood alone on a corner selling the afternoon edition of the World, unaware of the pain and suffering about to befall him in the form of his mother.  
"Davie, my son, are you busy?" Esther Jacobs walked up to David giving him a hug.  
"No Mama I am just selling papes. Do you need me to pick you up something form the market on my way home?" He tried very hard not to blush as a passerby gave him a weird look.  
"My goodness do I need a reason to come see my son at work? We never see you any more I thought I would come see you and talk to you."  
"I sell papes Mama. I yell out headlines and people buy them from me. What else is there to know?" David stopped to yell out some improved headline selling about 10 papers before turning around seeing his mother's crushed look.  
"David Moses Jacob, I thought I had taught you not to lie. What kind of mother do you want people to think you had?" Esther started to cry, "Your Papa and I have always told you lying was wrong, why do you have to lie to sell papers?"  
"I am sorry Mama, but papers won't sell if you don't improve the headlines." David tried to comfort her "But if it would make you feel better I'll stop it."  
Esther stopped crying "Yes Davie it would. You promise you won't lie to sell papers?"  
David crossed his fingers, "Yes Mama I promise."  
He then went back to selling his papers using the actual headlines, selling none.  
"Mama did you want anything else?" David decided that the only way to sell his papers was to get rid of his mother.  
"Yes now that you mention it. Will you be brining that boy, Jack Kelly, over for dinner. I hope not he is having such a bad influence on Les and Sarah. I wish you would chose your friends better…"  
David sighed yet again knowing that now would not be the time to mention that Les and Jack had gone to Medda's, or that he had planned on joining them after he had finished with his papers. But now she had shown up and was still going on and on about some stupid dinner party where she had invited Martha…wait a second Martha?  
"What, who is coming to dinner?" David dreaded the answer, only one girl he disliked in the whole building and it was Martha Krantz. If that was who Mama was talking about he was going to be spending the night at the boarding house.  
"Martha Krantz, you know that nice girl from downstairs." Esther got a far away look in her eye. "I told her mother she could come over, she is such a sweet girl."  
"Yes Mama," David agreed before adding under his breath, "she is also is buck toothed, has stringy hair, and is just plain ugly. "I am sorry Mama but I had made plans with some friends, we were going to study tonight for this huge test tomorrow, I was going to go just after I finished here."   
"But Davie I told Mrs. Krantz that you would be there. Martha is so looking forward to tonight."   
"I am sorry Mama but this is a really important test, I have to study with my friends. Sarah can entertain her I am sure." David knew his mom was up to something, probably trying to play matchmaker, and he was not about to let that happen. His fears were confirmed by her next statement.  
"Davie I just want to have grandkids before I go. I just want you to be happy, don't you want to get married?"   
"Of course Mama just not right now, I am only 17."  
"Your father and I were married at 17."  
"But Mama this isn't the old country."  
"Davie you will come home tonight and meet Martha."  
"Mama I can't I have to study, this test is a huge part of our grade, I won't graduate if I don't pass."  
Esther began to cry, "You don't want to get married."   
"Mama, you're embarrassing me, I said I want to get married, but I don't need you to set me up." David was beginning to panic, his mother was drawing unneeded and unwanted attention to him.   
"Well if it ain't little old Davie, how ya doing?" Morris and Oscar Delancey came up behind David. All David could think about was how this wasn't his day as he turned around.  
"I am fine," He gritted his teeth, and began looking for a way out, then realized he couldn't just leave his mother to the Delancey brother's mercy.  
"That's good, ya know we haven't had da pleasure of conversing for a while. My fists miss it." Morris pulled back his fist and punched David in the stomach. David doubled over and tried very hard not to puke. Oscar then threw a punch to David's kidney causing more pain, enough to cause David to fall to the ground. Once David was on the ground the Delancey's began to kick him, or they would have if they could stand.  
Out of no where Esther Jacobs had come throwing punches that would have made and pugilist proud. "You will not hit my Davie, He is a good boy, and one day he will be a great lawyer, one that you will face before you go to jail. You unwashed, ingrates you."  
The Delancey brothers finally were able to get away from the blows thrown by Esther and ran for the nearest place to hide. They would never live this one down.   
Esther knelt by her son, "Davie are you okay?"  
"Sure Mama I'll be fine, I just want to lay here for a while."  
She stood up wiping her hands off on the front of her skirt, "Well I'll expect you home for dinner then. Don't stay out to late, you shouldn't start habits that will ruin your home when you get married. Oh I forgot, Christina Myers will be over too, and Katherine Micelles and Roberta Coors and Marisa Johnson and Mary Jo Lynne and…"  
His mother's voice faded off into the distance, naming off girls who she thought was perfect for him to marry.  
"I wonder if I can sleep at the Lodging House in Brooklyn for awhile." David picked up his papers and ran in the opposite direction of home, hoping to find refuge some where other than anywhere his mother and the hordes of girls she had invited over would be.   
  



End file.
